September 30, 2025
Your brain tries to hold everything at once. It drops things – not out of carelessness but overload.
Imagine that you are watching a juggler. Initially, he is handling three balls. Some of us may think, “I can do that.” But the performer becomes increasingly impressive as he adds more objects to his act. He’s up to four, then five, now six hockey pucks, beer cans, and footballs. This continues impressively until he has nine, no— ten, props circulating through the air. This demonstration continues until he feverishly (and dramatically), ends his performance by eventually catching all his objects while taking a gracious bow. We, his audience, are duly impressed with his skill and ability to focus.
This, of course, is the essence of the juggler. He is, at his core, a skilled performer. While he appears to be struggling with so many objects in the air, he clearly knows how many he can comfortably manage. He may not act like it, but a competent professional juggler knows when he is operating within his “comfort zone” even as he feigns being on the edge of failure.
But what happens if our juggler exceeds his established safe number of objects? Ego may seduce him into adding “one too many balls” into his act. Looking back, he can recall his feeling of pride when he went from three balls to four. Accomplishing that goal, he eventually worked up to his safe, dazzling number. His proficiency is awesome until……….he adds one too many bananas or tennis rackets. The result is disaster, with all of his juggled props crashing to the floor as he pathetically scrambles to retrieve them.
Ok, “Where are you going with this”? my readers may ask. The juggler is my metaphor for our lives in general. We all have many “balls in the air.” We manage our career, our children, our partner, our hobbies, and our friendships. We add our vehicles, our landscaping, our books and favorite TV shows as well. And don’t forget to try a new recipe and add to your current streak of getting Wordle correctly for the past 23 days. It’s all good until it crashes.
The theatrical juggler experiences only embarrassment when his act fails. For us, the stakes may be higher. Our ego-driven, excessive choices may generate a heart attack at 52, a divorce at 37, or a visit to a re-hab facility at 44. These are the potential consequences of imprudent juggling.
OK, that’s the problem. What’s the solution? The three H’s:
Honesty – as a therapist, I often describe my profession as “professional mirror holding.” I don’t advise my clients about anything. Instead, I simply attempt to help them see themselves more clearly by “moving the mirror.” Honesty involves a sober stare into that mirror.
Honor – If Honesty is the beginning of a healthy mindset, then Honor represents the resulting conduct. For example, there is no such thing as an “honorable profession.” Rather, the man or woman brings honor to their work or career via their behavior. Therefore, there are honorable street sweepers and dishonorable lawyers, judges and politicians, based upon how they execute their job responsibilities. In that vein, we bring honor to our family and our relationships via honest self-reflection.
Humility – Ultimately, our juggler must come to recognize his/her limitations. In our lives, no matter how talented and charismatic we may be, we can only do so much.
The three H’s are the antidote to the Juggler’s overreach. Consider them carefully. And as my lovely co-author suggests, there is a 4th (and perhaps 5th) ”H” hovering over us:
How am I doing with the first three H’s?
and
How much is enough?
What does your mirror reflect?
In life, we juggle 5 things: work, family, integrity, health & friends. Only one will bounce back if dropped.