These days, we can buy insurance for anything. Lawyers, real estate agents, and medical personnel can cover themselves against inadvertent errors flowing from typos, misstatements, and other slips that may lead to some liability. It’s known as “errors and omissions” coverage. I imagine that any of us could find an insurance agent willing to take our money for this protection against such mistakes.
As mentioned in this week’s title, our topic involves actions taken by imperfect, non-psychopathic men and women. Psychopaths are people who lack a conscience and, therefore, have no problem with hurting others. Thankfully, there are very few true psychopaths. Since there are no “perfect people” the vast majority of the population is made up of us; flawed people who make mistakes and are imperfect.
Imperfections can be labeled with many terms: mistakes, errors, sins, flaws, even crimes. Since most people possess a conscience, there are two basic ways to interpret their misjudgments. Some “wrong moves” are simply mistakes. These errors do not involve moral decisions or character shortcomings. When I step on your toe or invest in a stock that goes down in value; that’s a mistake. I say, “I’m sorry” about your toe, and I regret my ill-advised investment. These are regrettable behaviors, but they are not dishonorable. They are not a basis for shame or embarrassment. Ironically, good people often feel guilty for mistakes that were simply poor judgments or actions that could not be foreseen as having a negative effect on others.
Sadly, some wrong actions involve choices and behaviors that could be foreseen as harming others in some way. Lies, thoughtless remarks, and inconsiderate actions fall into this second category of imperfect behavior. I personally do not appreciate apologies from those who engage in these behaviors. When the outcome of such lies or commissions cause others pain, to say “I’m sorry” is disingenuous. If the perpetrator didn’t mean to hurt another, then why did s/he say or do what s/he did? Generally, this type of imperfection had an outcome that was predictably harmful to another person. It is better to honestly acknowledge, “I did something wrong. I shouldn’t have done it. I will try to make up for it in my future actions.” Genuine sorrow and regret may come to the perpetrator later, perhaps after they have gained some insight into the motivations for their own harmful decision.
In summary, there are two forms of imperfections: accidental and deliberate. In a lifelong journey to make ourselves better people, how must we proceed? In the case of accidental mistakes, the clumsy walker must watch where s/he is stepping and whose feet may lie in the danger zone. The imprudent investor must do more homework prior to selecting the next investment or trust an ethical financial advisor.
Dealing with willing errors, those that involve actions that we commit with an understanding of the potential painful consequences, is more complicated. Improvement in this arena involves real soul-searching and the taking of a fearless moral inventory. If this last statement sounds familiar, it should. It borrows its language from the 4th step of Alcoholics Anonymous. Fortunately, must of us do not struggle with the alcoholism, but the concept of self examination is useful for all of us. AA’s 8th step directs us to make amends to others for our errors of commission. Once again, this directive is applicable to all of us.
Todays’ homework: The easy assignment – watch out for other’s people’s instep. The tough assignment: take the inventory and make amends. Like anything really difficult, it is also one of the most satisfying of all human endeavors.
By doing so, you are truly buying “life insurance.”