Dr. John V. Farrar
the snowman therapist
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The Snowman Therapist BLOG!
Take Out a Dollar Bill
Take Out A Dollar Bill Last weekend a client related feelings of frustration over his inability to accomplish all of his goals since his last session. He explained that he was upset with himself when he had not accomplished, “crossed-off”, all the items on his “to do”...
Is Your Love Life on the Rocks? On an Iceberg?
Love on the Rocks? On an Iceberg? On April 15, 1912, Titanic hit an iceberg in the North Atlantic before sinking. In the box office movie blockbuster of the same name, the story of Jack and Rose became nearly as famous as the real disaster that spawned their fictional...
INS & OUTS OF BELLY BUTTONS
I recently was counseling a man who expressed regret and shame over his divorce of some years ago. He described in detail his actions that led to the demise of his marriage. He also listed behaviors (including infidelity) of his ex-wife during the marriage but had...
Unspoken Words
Stan and Grace have been happily married for 50 years. On the morning of their Golden anniversary, Stan is performing the loving tradition of every Sunday morning. For as long as either of them can remember, Stan has made Sunday breakfast for the couple. As always,...
FORGIVENESS: THE GIFT (PART 2)
Forgiveness Two: The Gift A few years ago, I was conducting an initial interview with a new client. I was gathering basic demographic information, asking him about his family background. He stated that he had three sisters. He added that they were very close, both...
FORGIVENESS: TAKE THE KNIFE OUT! (PART 1)
Imagine the following: A friend meets you for lunch. You notice that his right shoulder is drooping. He reaches out to greet you with his left hand rather than the right “hand shaking” hand. The right arm hangs lifelessly at his side. As he sits down, you cannot...
MEASURE OF DIGNITY
It occurred to me while watching television the other day that our culture conveys positive qualities and titles to certain members of our society who don’t necessarily deserve the recognition that flows from those descriptors. Specifically, I had “channel surfed”...
IS HE/SHE A “10” OR MAYBE EVEN A “12”?
In last week’s newsletter, we discussed some issues surrounding divorce. “Poor preparation” was cited as the reason for divorce when unplanned pregnancy, teen marriage, and blatant abuse are not present. In working with clients on relationship matters, I share a list...
50 % is a Failing Grade: How Do We Improve it?
Last week my wife, Anita, and I had the opportunity to be interviewed on the Big Rapids radio station (Sunny 97.3.) Lynn Schieble’s request for us to join her and Steve Masters was triggered by her awareness that the month of January is notable for a most unenviable...
WHY DON’T THEY JUST HAVE ONE?
As many of my readers know, much of my private practice involves working with negative addictions. Over the past 30 years, I've learned a great deal about both the physiology as well as the psychology of substance-related addictions. I have great empathy for those who...
Are You a King or Queen?
Are you a King or Queen? Imagine that you were a King or Queen a few hundred years ago. What would that be like? Certainly, it would be nice to have servants attending to all your wishes. You would be wealthy and have no financial concerns of any kind. Sounds great?...
THE BOOK IS HERE!!
Thoughts. Behaviors. Feelings. These are the three pillars of the Farrars' approach to counseling. As a cognitive counselor, Dr. John believes our behaviors and feelings stem from our thoughts.
Dr. John draws upon years of experience and his work with over 300 women to identify six reasons why women choose dysfunctional and under-achieving partners.
Dr. John is an enthusiastic and entertaining presenter, able to convey his cognitively-oriented messages to audiences with a clear and entertaining style.
Call him today to schedule a workshop or seminar for you or your organization.