“If you find it necessary to judge me by my past; don’t be surprised when I find it necessary to put you there.”
Today’s newsletter represents the final of three entries that have focused upon the past. The first two entries examined the dynamics of script messages and the wisdom of positive thought via a metaphor about donuts. We will conclude with a beautiful story about friendship and wisdom.
As a concluding gift to addicted clients who have successfully completed treatment and established a sober lifestyle, I proffer a copy of “The Precious Present” by Ken Blanchard. It is the tale of friendship between a little boy and an old man. Over the course of their frequent dialogues, the old man shares with the boy that he will, hopefully, receive the gift of “the precious present.” The old man adds that, once the boy receives this present, he will be happy and content. Like all children, the idea getting a gift was exciting to the boy. Impatient, he badgers the old man about the gift’s arrival. The old man kindly demurs, explaining that the boy is too young to receive it now, but when he is older, he will be continually happy once the present is available to him.
The story takes a sad turn when the old man dies. The boy misses his friend, but also is upset because he hadn’t received this wonderful gift that the old man had presaged. Frustrated, the boy (now a grown man) searched in vein for the promised gift……until one day. Then, in the midst of an “aha moment,” the man came to realize that the “Precious Present” was not a gift, but rather, was a point in time. Now! This moment! Today …..is the present. The man was happy as he lived in the moment with his new understanding.
As the man considers his experience with the old man, and his searching for years due to a lack of understanding of his aged friend’s message, his mood darkened. He considers, “I’ve wasted many years searching for this gift because I didn’t understand the old man’s meaning.“ Pondering further, however, he gained more grasp of the concept of the blessing attendant to living in the present. He realized, “Whenever I look back, I live in the past. I feel shame, regret and disappointment over misdeeds and lost opportunities.” Gaining this insight and pulling himself back to the present, the man was, once again, happy.
But rumination returned. The man then pondered, “I know how things work. Nothing stays the same. What if things turn for the worse down the road? But, once again, the now wiser man caught himself, reflecting, “When I look into the future, the unknown, it’s frightening. But I also know what to do today to prepare for tomorrow. It may not be prefect, but it’s all I can do now about what could happen in the future.”
And now, armed with a clear understanding of the old man’s message, the man nodded to himself and smiled.
Homework: Past. Present. Future. Where are you living today?
“Every saint has a past; every sinner has a future. “