As mentioned a few newsletters ago, I will be episodically discussing the wisdom to be found in the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Once again, the benefit of understanding the message of Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith, the founders of AA, transcends its relevance of those attempting to recover from alcoholism. In fact, although neither man would have labeled themselves as experts in the field of psychology, the soundness of their 12 key principles is unassailable. But on the Step Two:
We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
This step seems to provide the greatest difficulty for many individuals because of its obvious allusion to religion, or spirituality, or God. The capital “P” in power is off-putting to many. Often, those in recovery from something (not just alcohol) find prayer and the pursuit of a relationship with their creator uplifting, but many chaff at the idea of depending on something or someone that they do not accept in their lives. So just as we focused on “powerless” and “unmanageable” rather than alcohol in our review of the First Step of AA a few weeks ago, let’s put our attention to the phrases “greater than ourselves and “restore us to sanity” in considering the Second Step.
Certain “new age” thinkers often look at the world through somewhat different eyes. While most spiritual orientations view life through a dualistic point of view (good vs. evil; right vs. wrong; sin vs. virtue) others see dichotomies somewhat differently. The popular spiritualist from Oprah’s programming, Marianne Williamson, speaks of the “ego” as the vehicle that leads us into an unhealthy or non-productive direction. I think this conception may be the best lens through which to capture the wisdom found in the second step of AA. Considering the term “egotistical” may evoke images of a self-important adult. But it may also apply to children or adolescents who lack the maturity to see the world from a broader, more collective, frame of reference. Either definition implies a “self orientation” rather than a more universal one. It is noteworthy that the collective pronoun “we” is used throughout the rendering of the Twelve Steps. For many AA members, The Power greater themselves is the group of members itself. The greater resource is the collective wisdom, support, and structure available in the gathering of individuals joined together with a common goal. A humble person may ruefully concede “My best thinking got me into the situation I find myself.” Perhaps the collective understanding provided them others, be they AA fellows, trusted friends, a counselor, or a loving family member, is a better plan than relying solely on our own devices.
Based on the above, comprehending the next phrase, “restoring us to sanity” becomes easier to grasp. It is fair to say that egocentric (egocyncratic?) can produce a form of temporary “insanity.” This, hopefully, transitory state of cognition often leads us making irrational, self-defeating decisions and choices. Whether driven by anger, hurt, or lust individuals frequently are left shaking their heads over their own ill-advised behaviors under stressful situations. Grandma may have advised us to “count to ten” before speaking when upset. A counselor or confidant may have suggested that we wait until the next morning to send an angry email. All of these small tips are built around the notion that it is mistake to depend on our own thinking in important circumstances. We are better served when we draw upon the collective wisdom of others to lead us to “saner” decisions.
How often have you regretted a decision made after taking time, and deliberating with those you trust? How many times have you wished you could literally retrieve the words that just spontaneously flew out of your mouth? Case closed.