ODD
Odd. It is an interesting little three letter word that has two distinct meanings which are, nevertheless, connected. One definition involves a description of people or situations that seem out of sync or deviating from the norm, i.e., “That man has an odd appearance.” or “What an odd thing to say to someone.” The other definition has nothing to do with human behavior whatsoever. It is simply the term for numbers that are not divisible by two. One, three, five, etc. By definition, numbers are either odd or even.
It is striking that these two numerical classifications convey meanings beyond the realm of computation. An individual might be described as being “even tempered” or operating on an “even keel.” Both phrases suggest stability. Conversely, another person might be portrayed as being “the odd man out” or an irritating or contentious person could be viewed as “always at odds with somebody.”
Fairly or unfairly, it is better to be “even” than “odd.” The old pop song tells us “One is the loneliest number.” There certainly is truth to that musical lament. Sociologists and anthropologists tell us that humans are naturally social beings; being a hermit is an aberration. Since Noah and his ark, we group ourselves in pairs. We mate, irrespective of sexual orientation. Many social situations are structured around couples, as any recently divorced or widowed individual can ruefully attest.
Personally, I have known many miserable individuals involved in a marriage. But I have also never met a really happy, contented single person beyond the stage of early adulthood. Most men and women beyond, let’s say 30 or so, are still seeking a companion and potential partner, even if they have blessedly exited an unhappy or unfulfilling prior pairing. And those few who seem to have abandoned the pursuit of a mate appear to do so with an air of resignation, rather than enthusiasm, for the solitary state.
So what is the point of this missive? Simply that, as humans and social beings, the natural order of things is to connect with others. Certainly, the most complex of all relationships involves marriage or some other form of committed pairing. Clients who report conflicts with their mate often observe, “Why can’t I get along with my husband (or wife, or partner)? I love him more than anyone.” This sincere lament reflects a rather naïve belief that love brings with it a perfect blending with the other person; that a good choice of partner produces a perfect meshing of the relationship gears. While an ill-advised choice of a mate will likely bring on-going friction and angst, a sound choice will not conversely produce uninterrupted bliss. A prudent choice of partner affords us the chance to build a satisfying life together. It is an opportunity; not a guarantee.
So where does this leave my single readers? Are they odd (strange, weird or bizarre)? Of course not. Ironically, my message is one of hope. It conveys that we all are capable of living a rewarding existence through our associations with others: our families, our friends, and our co-workers or fellow parishioners. While becoming “one of a team of two” may be our most basic instinct or desire, sometimes being one of five, or eleven, or fifty-five can be satisfying as well.
But one is truly the loneliest number.