Much of my life (as well as the meticulous grammar of these newsletters!) is owed to my wife, Anita. She is smart, beautiful, and the source of my happiness. Aside from all that, she is my business partner in our counseling, consulting, and workshop efforts. As we were doing one of our presentations about the research that led to “Dump the Neanderthal; Choose Your Prime Mate” last evening, my Anita shared the following with our audience:
“Never make a statement, or entertain a thought, that you do not wish to be true.”
Last week’s newsletter addressed this topic as well, from a somewhat different angle. And, of course, our readers know that most of our writing flows from the cognitive concept that is embodied in the “snowman” metaphor.
To explain that concept with another term, let’s consider the principle of neurolinguistics. What does it mean? Basically, it refers to the connection between the brain and speech. There is spoken language and “speech” that is uttered only in our heads: our self-talk.
Imagine that you stroked the back of your hand with your fingernail. Lightly. What do you see? Maybe nothing. At most, a faint discoloration. Have you had any impact on your hand, other than depositing a few skin cells under your nail? The answer, obviously, is no. Now imagine that you engaged in the same “fingernail across the hand” exercise for an hour. What would you see now? Probably a mark of some degree. Now imagine doing it for a day, a week! Significant damage, for sure.
My point is that we “carve” our brain with our thoughts in much the same way that our nail is shaping our hand. One thought (stroke) has little effect, but many thoughts, repeated over and over, “make a mark.” And a lifetime of thoughts builds a personality and contrives a destiny. As Anita said earlier, never entertain an idea that you don’t hope to be realized.
Let’s go back to the title of today’s newsletter, “Every thought is a prayer.” What is a prayer? It is, of course, a hope or wish for something. We hope for a sick friend’s recovery. We hope that a child succeeds on an exam or performance of some kind. We pray for a solution to a work-related problem of some kind. What are you praying for?
Listen to your self-talk (or out loud talk). Do you say (or think) things such as “I’m a procrastinator.” or “I’m always late.”? Do you like procrastination or tardiness? Does it serve you? If it doesn’t, then stop “praying” for it with your thoughts and speech. Substitute “I’m a procrastinator.” with “I am a punctual and well organized person.
Start “praying” for what you want and catch yourself in the act of “praying” for the opposite!