Perhaps it is fitting on the 13th anniversary of 9/11/01 to reflect on the message of today’s newsletter and give thanks to those who serve and protect us.
Some years ago, when my daughter, Christina, left Michigan to begin her studies at the University of Florida, I experienced all the predictable apprehensions as a father. Over 1,000 miles of separation, the comparative absence of contact and a general inability to protect (and monitor) her all contributed to my fears and anxieties. About the only thing I could come up with to minimally assuage my apprehensions was a $50 bill. On the evening before she departed, I gave her a picture of “ U.S. Grant” and told her to keep it in her wallet for emergencies. As an incentive for her to keep the money for critical situations rather than for a new pair of sunglasses, I told Christina that I would give her another $50 if she could show the original bill to me when I next saw her.
Being a very bright young woman, I’m guessing that she deduced that she would get another $50 from me, no matter what. I would probably replace the original $50 anyway for the same reason the first $50 was proffered to her. She would have been right in that assumption. But Christina almost always showed the last “safety net” in her wallet when asked to show it. I believe that the “ritual of the $50” became a sort of bond or connection between father and daughter. I hope it meant something to both of us, irrespective of the original intent.
What is my point? Simply this: do you have a $50 bill in your life? In my lexicon, our $50 bill is the someone whom we can always count on at times of stress, upset, loss, or need. The $50 bill may be your spouse, a parent, a dear friend, or even an adult son or daughter. They qualify for this role because they are emotionally stable, care about us deeply, and are willing and able to respond in a crisis.
Think about whom that may be in your life. For many of us, the answer is obvious. For others, the name may require some reflection to assess and determine. And, sadly, for some of us, the painful message is that no name comes to mind.
How you answered the above question dictates your next step. If your $50 bill is immediately known to you, do you treat that person with the love, respect, and appreciation s/he deserves? If you were uncertain whether the person you eventually came up with fits this definition, perhaps it is appropriate to invest more time and energy in that relationship, possibly with the goal of becoming that person’s “$50 bill” as well.
And what about my readers who drew a blank when trying to identify a reliable someone in their lives? This may sound harsh, but HOW ARE YOU LIVING? Where are you investing time and emotional energy? It’s time for a major change in life direction for those solitary individuals. The theorist, Erik Erikson, tells us that humans are, by their nature, social beings. Hermits are an anomaly for our species. Living a solitary life, literally or functionally, must be addressed. So it’s time to get started with our acts of love and appreciation for our known or suspected “$50 bills,” or it’s time to start searching for one.
What love we’ve given, we’ll have forever. What love we fail to give, will be lost for all eternity. Leo Buscaglia