For a long time, the metaphor of “boiling a frog” has engaged me. It is based upon the notion that, if thrown into a cauldron of boiling water, the frog would jump out. Conversely, it has been postulated that a frog in room temperature water could be lulled and sedated into its demise if the temperature were raised very gradually, as its status as a cold blooded creature would cause it to be easily “manipulated” one degree at a time.
As a non-biologist, the veracity of this bit of science is unknown to me, but the metaphor still fascinates and, frankly, troubles me. It invites all of us to examine the extent to which we have become desensitized into accepting changes in our daily lives that we would never have believed could happen. Are there things about ourselves, as well as from those around us, that should be troubling us more than they are?
At this point, my readers may be waiting for examples and I am trying to tread lightly here, lest I risk offending some readers. I’m avoiding things like politics, gas prices, and debates over what constitutes human rights. Let’s consider something less controversial, such as children’s behavior. More accurately, perhaps the topic should be parenting styles. In either case, we have travelled a considerable distance from the old axiom of “Children should be seen and not heard.” While that bromide always seemed a little too harsh and discounting of children to me, it appears today that we too often see children who are downright disrespectful of their parents and adults in general. My wife once pointed out that the formulaic family sitcom of the day typically involves a beleaguered and none too bright father (Al Bundy?) being put down by wisecracking and critical kids. It’s a long way back to Bill Cosby (Dr. Huxtable) and his brood of real, but still respectful, children.
But parenting practices were not meant to be the topic of this week’s missive. Back to the frog. What have you become inured to? What has happened to you, a day at a time, that you never believed could happen? Has the partner that you once couldn’t wait to hear from become someone that you rarely (or never) have a serious or intimate conversation with? Has your priority of “family first” slid into a second or third tier of importance? (Call your mother!!!). Seriously, how have you changed, over time, into something that would have been unrecognizable, or unacceptable, to you some years ago?
Just as the spare tire that wraps its way around many of us, we have arrived at an unacceptable state; we have perhaps arrived at some unacceptable situation one day (or bagel) at a time. Those in recovery from some negative addiction recognize that improvement comes to them “one day at a time.” What can we do to correct some unacceptable situation in our lives through seeking change, one step (and one day) at a time?
Step One: What is a part of your life today that needs changing that you’ve grown to accept or tolerate?
Step Two: What is a step you can take today to begin to reverse the situation?
Step Three: Now, do it.
It’s time to save the frog (that means you!) from boiling into an unfulfilling or disappointing situation and life.
Jump out of that pot today!