Act as If………..
As my readers have learned by now, I’m a real movie fan. Like most aficionados of the silver screen, I have a few favorite actors. One of them is the recently deceased box office titan, Paul Newman. Paul was nominated for Oscars numerous times before winning one for his reprise of the character of pool-playing Fast Eddie Felson in The Color of Money. But my favorite performance of Newman’s was his portrayal of a middle-aged alcoholic Boston attorney, Frank Galvin, in The Verdict. It is a story of personal reclamation of Newman’s character, as reflected in his pivotal summation during the film’s climatic courtroom scene. (see attached video). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVZFlBJftgg&feature=related
In that scene, Newman exhorts the jury to do what they know to be the moral thing and rule in favor of his damaged client. Attorney Galvin is exhorting the jurors to have faith in the judicial system, as well as themselves. He explains, “In my religion, we are told that if you wish to have faith, act as though you have it, and faith will be given to you.”
This newsletter is not about faith per se, but Newman’s directive contains an important, universal message to all of us. It occurred to me as I re-watched the courtroom drama that it would be possible to remove the word ”faith” from the above quote, substitute almost any term, and the dialogue would still make sense. For example, if we replace “faith” with “courage” how would the quote read?
“If we wish to have courage, act courageously,
and courage will be given to us.”
Or,
“If we wish to have self-confidence, act confidently, and self-confidence will be given to us.”
Those who frequent 12-Step support groups are familiar with a more colloquial version of the same idea, “fake it until you make it.” The tone of the words is less important than their message.
Given the above, what keeps us from moving forward and toward the goal we seek? The answer may be found in our sense of self perception vs. “other perception.” What do I mean by “other perception”? This invented term refers to the way we see others in any given situation. Have you ever complimented a friend or colleague after they had given a speech or perhaps made an important presentation of some kind, only to have them admit, “I felt so nervous while I was doing it.” We often respond, truthfully, “Wow! You didn’t look or sound that way!” Our friends or colleagues may have complimented us at times in similar circumstances. We are gratified, but still surprised, by their positive evaluation of our efforts or performance.
Simply put, the only emotions we feel are our own. We know how others appear, but not how they feel. Seen another way, we know ourselves inside, but not from the outside. And the reverse applies to everyone else.
There is, therefore, a natural sense of inferiority in stressful, important situations. It looks to us as though everyone else has more confidence than we. Our stomach is doing back flips while others seem so self-assured. And that may be exactly how we generally appear to others.
The answer is to proceed with the quality that we seek, be that courage, confidence, or decisiveness. Act. Then, become.