Today we will be discussing the application of the third step of Alcoholics Anonymous to all of my readers as well as to those in recovery. But before we get to that, I’d like to draw some analogy between my approach with clients and the structure of the steps themselves.
Most of my readers are familiar with my metaphor of the snowman. It is a simple construct that suggests that all human activity follows the T-B-F formula as illustrated by the snowman. It postulates that thoughts (T) lead to behavioral (B) choices that, in turn, produce emotional outcomes or feelings (F). The snowman is the template that I use in working with my clients. (An illustration of the “snowman” can be found at snowmantherapy.com.)
Similarly AA founders, Dr. Bob and Bill W., created a roadmap for recovery through their 12 Steps. While my snowman did not have addiction issues in mind when it was formulated, I’m pretty sure that AA’s two founders did not envision the universal applicability of their 12 principles. Both concepts appear to follow a similar pattern and are helpful to all.
AA students and scholars often point out the pattern or “rhythm” of the 12 Steps’ sequence. Step 2 involves a belief while Step 3 describes a decision to be made. Steps 4 and 5 follow the natural progression of thought to action. Steps 8 and 9 imitate the same path. This sequencing of AA steps seems similar to my “snowman’s” suggested personal review of examining our thoughts and beliefs as the vehicle for determining where our unsuccessful, self-defeating or painful behaviors originate . Feelings, either good or bad, inevitably follow.
But back to AA Step Three:
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
In the previous newsletter considering the second Step, we discussed the rather individualistic application of the concept of God. AA members are free to interpret God in the manner they are most comfortable. Hence the above phrase “as we understood him.” One of my clients in recovery observed that some of his fellow AA members ascribe God as being an acronym for “good orderly direction.” Other members see the AA membership itself as their higher power. Once gain, AA is not trying to generate a religious following so much as it attempts to move its members away from flawed, egocentric thinking.
So what should any of us be doing instead of depending upon the same old flawed thinking that has kept us trapped in situations we do not like? Once again, step three is a call to action.
Suggestions: Seek counsel (professional or from a trusted friend) with a goal of gaining a new perspective rather than an opinion of what to do in a given situation. Read and learn from resources that are new to us in some way. The key is to be open to a change in perspective or thought pattern.
A casual reading of the third step might deduce that it is a passive step; that we simply are “letting God to it.” But to quote another old expression, “God helps those who help themselves.” To pick on this week’s message of action, develop a game plan for moving beyond our own, self-oriented patterns of thought and resulting behaviors. Do something to change what you don’t like.
THINK ABOUT IT!
If you don’t like how things are, change them; you’re not a tree! – Rohn