A Currier and Ives Conundrum
To my generation, it’s Nate King Cole singing about chestnuts or perhaps Andy Williams describing the most wonderful time of the year. 21st century fans of the Christmas musical season may have purchased the Michael Bouble seasonal disc. Do rappers put out holiday fare? No matter. We all get it.
It’s the holidays!
But most of us, at least part of the time, don’t feel like punctuating the month of December with a jolly exclamation point. Aside from the stress of shopping, baking, wrapping, stringing temperamental strands of retreaded lights, and perhaps dealing with the first wave of seasonal salted slush, we are confronted with a nagging idea:
“I’m supposed to be joyful, but I’m not. What’s wrong with me?”
We all understand the reality that our emotions come to us like waves hitting the shore. There is high tide and low tide. We all have ups and downs. If they aren’t extreme, we know how to deal with them. But as we look at one Christmas card image after another, the tendency is to buy into the belief that, at least during this season, we should all be happy all the time. We should be content. We should cleave onto our loved ones. (I guess I was absent the day they taught cleaving in school). At times during this supposedly joyful season, we may seek some alone time rather than gathering with others.
Once again, the question: What’s wrong with us?
The answer: Nothing!
In reality, the thing that impacts us in the worst way is the false belief that we should be joyful on a 24-7 basis during the holidays. For many of us, however, it is a time when we reflect on lost loved ones. Whether they passed away in June or October, they tend to be in our thoughts in December. And that is alright. It is also understandable, perhaps, to fret about the Visa bill that will arrive in January after the December purchases have been unwrapped. And so on.
So allow yourself a little bit of melancholy during this time. It’s normal and it’s OK. Ironically, if we accept this very human tendency, that knowledge will help the sadness or worry diminish in its duration or intensity. We all live in a real, challenging world; not in a Currier and Ives Christmas card.
I, for one, am glad. All that skating, snowman making, and caroling looks cold and wet to me! So, enjoy the realistically good parts of the season and skip the myths. You don’t have to believe in Santa Claus to enjoy that jovial, chubby guy.