As my students and clients can attest, I generally explain that I consider myself to be a cognitive therapist. This simply means that I proceed from the stance that our thoughts dictate our actions, and our actions determine how we are feeling. This view is the essence of the “snowman” which is articulated on the home page of this website.
However, there are also times and situations when a slightly different approach is required. NIKE’s tagline, “Just Do It” is very relevant to this topic. Consider the following quote:
It is easier to act our way into a new way of thinking
than to think our way into a new way of acting.
Source Unknown
Therapists generally like “thinkers” as clients because they are verbal. They are expressive in sessions and allow the therapist to engage in what they do best: discuss options. Certainly, there is a role for catharsis, emotional purging, in the counseling process. People feel better in getting their issues and feelings out in the open. But, ultimately, the goal of treatment is to change behaviors. Knowing why we are acting in a certain way is only a step toward changing our behaviors and feeling better.
Electing new behaviors is difficult for most of us because the new way of acting is uncomfortable; it is foreign to us. The familiar is always more comfortable, even if our old way of doing things is unsatisfactory. We stay on jobs we dislike or find unfulfilling because we fear the unknown of a new situation. We stay in relationships that are unsatisfying or even abusive for the same reason.
The following is one of my favorite homilies:
The universal antidote to depression (sadness) is activity.
This, of course, expresses the same message of the need for action as the first quote above did. The “catch 22” of the antidote concept is that, when we are in a funk, it is difficult to motivate ourselves into action. The need for action is, therefore, all the more essential. We must push ourselves to move even when it is the last thing we want to do.
All new action is alien to us. And yet, venturing into unfamiliar territory is our path to a new and more gratifying life. Just do it.