To love a person is to see all of their magic, and to remind them of it when they have forgotten.
When you take things for granted, the things you are granted, get taken.
“Don’t Look Too Fast”
Today, my lovely wife was having a bad day. Nothing major, she would acknowledge, just a stressful few hours that had her at less than her best. Often, male spouses are not much help under such circumstances. We tend to try to be problem solvers when we would serve better by simply being supportive listeners. In any case, that is what I tried to do, but with little apparent effect. So the rest of our day proceeded as we attacked the daily chores of home maintenance and task completion.
And then a wonderful thing happened. As I was re-staining our front door, a few hours later, my wonderful wife came up to me, give me a kiss and a hug, and said, “Thanks.” Then she went back to tending to her garden. But that briefest moment of intimacy made my day.
It is well documented with those who know my wife and me that she has “made my life.” Everything good in my life flows from her. Our children, our careers, our stable life all have come to me through her. But there are also “mini moments” that are gratifying and enjoyable as well, such as the one I just described.
Whoever you are and wherever you live, the opportunities to “make someone’s day” are all around us. We just need to take the time to see, appreciate, and react to them. The clinical concept of mindfulness invites us to become more acutely attuned to our environment, our feelings, and our bodies. My ongoing metaphor of the “snowman” asks us to become attuned to our operative thought patterns and their positive or negative impact on us. In the midst of a difficult day, my wife understood that she had the chance to do something very small, yet very meaningful, for me. And she took it.
In the old biographical movie about Vincent Van Gogh, Lust for Life, a heated argument ensues between Van Gogh and his fellow painter, Paul Gauguin. Criticizing Van Gogh’s near frantic artistic style, Gauguin jabs, “You paint too fast!” Van Gogh’s response is angry, but nevertheless insightful, when he retorts, “You look too fast!”
When we are troubled or worried, we may be too pre-occupied to slow down and look around us. My dear wife, in the midst of a less than perfect day for her, still found a moment to make my day. Try to catch yourself in the act of “looking too fast” and capture a moment to share a kind thought or expression with another.
Perhaps, while you are making another’s day, you will also be improving your own.
You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. Ralph Waldo Emerson